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“COVER: This month’s cover is the result of teamwork, pure and simple, and we’d like to take this opportunity to tip our hats to a few of the forgotten men who make covers like this possible: Mike O’Donoghue had the orignal ‘brainstorm,’ and NatLamp design honcho Mike Gross gets an assist for a strong follow-through; Dick Hess, perennial high-scoring penster, inked the drawing, and Bob Pike, who is being traded to Elmira College for a tripod and some F-stops, came through with some nice camerawork in the third quarter; Art Director’s Workshop put together a 2 on 1 silkscreen, and Ellen Taurins, playing in the cleanup spot, came up with the big gun (a Bostitch Stapomatic) in the final minutes to sort of wrap things up. Good work, all of you!”

The cover is made to look like a matchbook cover advertisement for a diploma mill. The young woman is saying, “Sorry, fella, but if you don’t have a high-school diploma, kiss off!”

Contents

Letter From the Editor, By Michael O’Donoghue
The wacky antics of today’s college students

Letters, Uncredited; Illustration by Marvin Mattleson

Mrs. Agnew’s Diary, Uncredited (Doug Kenney); Illustration by Marvin Mattleson
The Agnews’ monthly card party with the Nixons and the Mitchells is interupted by an angry phone call from Chaing Kai-shek, who is all in a huff over Hank Kissinger’s trip to Red Communist China

News of the Month, Uncredited (Henry Beard); Illustration by Marvin Mattleson
Sodomy charges against Al Capp deemed likely to be a “bum rap”; Secret Dept. of Defense documents reveal proposed plans to use heroin to entice new recruits in an all-volunteer army

The Squealer, By Sean Kelly and Anne Beatts
An alumni newsletter for a reform school

The School of Hard Sell, By George W. S. Trow and Michael O’Donoghue
Madison Avenue-style ads for college courses

Hire the Handicapped, Cartoons by Rodrigues

Right On! The Campus War Game, By Michel Choquette, Anne Beatts, and Sean Kelly
A strategy & tactics-style board game that pits radical students against the college administration

Foto Funnies, Uncredited
Topic: Censorship. (Features Michael O’Donoghue)

Foto Funnies, Uncredited
Topic: Censorship. (Features Michel Choquette)

MAD Parody, By John Boni, Sean Kelly, and Henry Beard; Illustrations by Joe Orlando, Ralph Reese, John Romita, John Lewis, Ernie Colon, Al Weiss, Babi Jery, and Stuart Schwartzberg
Cover: A worried-looking Alfred E. Newman with the caption, “What, Me Funny?”; “Citizen Gaines,” a movie parody; “You Know You’ve Really Outgrown MAD When…”; “The Lighter Side of Dave Berg”; and more

Going Back, By Michel Choquette and Anne Beatts; Illustration by Dick Hess
A short story about a middle-aged man who is somehow transported back to when he was 12 years old, except he retains all the experiences, memories, and physical appearance of his adult self–a literal exploration of “if I knew then what I know now,” with disasterous results

Magical Misery Tour, By Michael O’Donoghue; Illustrated by Randall Enos
A comic-tragic history of the Beatles drawn in the style of the film Yellow Submarine

The Final Seconds, By Tony Hendra; Illustration by Robert Schulenberg
Nixon has a dream in which he, Henry Kissinger, and John Mitchell are young football heroes

125th Street, By Anne Beatts and Michel Choquette
Parody of Sesame Street set in a ghetto featuring endering characters such as Big Rat, Cocaine Monster, Oreo the Roach, and Ramone the Silverfish

Free Diploma, Uncredited
TV repair correspondence school diploma inside a matchbook cover (presumably the one featured on the cover of the magazine)