57. “Obscuration of the Subhermesic Lemia”

November 5, 2003

Q: Do you recall every seeing anything in Lampoon with the title something like “Obscuration of the Subhermesic Lemia” This was a phony medical article that had all of these bogus medical terms to show how ridiculous medicalese could be. Someone showed me this awhile back and I haven’t been able to find it or the correct title.

A: It’s from the May 1975 (Medicine) issue, part of a medical journal parody called “COMA”. More details in the Comments. (Thanks again to Carol!)

Comments

Believe it or not, I've located this bit. It's from COMA, a parody medical journal, in the May 75 "Medicine" ish of the Poon. The full title is 'An Advanced Surgical Technique for Obdulating the Subhermesic Lemia in Cases of Phagolytisosis of the Glabnoid Famnia'. The article is about as long as its title, and concludes "...are cut out with a tiny chainsaw." Don't try this at home, kids!

—Carol

February 22, 2007 9:25 pm

Carol, you make me look like such a slacker. Thanks once again!

—Mark Simonson

February 22, 2007 10:21 pm

The '75 timeline for this issue makes me think there was a chart within it that, on the left side going down was a list of ethnic doctors and, at the top going left to right, their approach to a range of maladies starting with the common cold, progressing to a broken limb, going on to cancer. One physician at the bottom of the chart was "Dr. Makim Bendover," who prescribed remedies based solely on application through the anus ("tubesteak suppositories, exploratory open anal pork probe, foaming beef enemas, traumatic rectal ham lancing," etc.) Can you confirm it was the issue to which you've already referred or some other one?

—Yrag

May 22, 2007 1:18 am

The ethnic doctor chart appeared in August 79, the "Vacation!" issue. Dr Bendover's remedies still seem hilarious after all this time.

—Carol

October 17, 2007 1:58 am

Original material (excluding quoted material) © 1997-2024 Mark Simonson.
Mark's Very Large National Lampoon Site is not affiliated with National Lampoon or National Lampoon Inc.
Click here for the real thing.